Joseph's Dilemma
As any responsible adult does upon relocating, I visited my local DMV. As you can imagine, it was a less than pleasant experience, as DMV visits tend to go. Due to covid, they are operating on an appointment-only schedule. Only so many people are allowed in the building, and as a result, the line was out the door, as they were running well behind schedule. And it was raining.
I debated about leaving and coming back another time. I thought about the repercussions - the minimal appointments available, the next long line I might have to stand in, yet another few weeks or months until I can get my license. And one more thing still hanging out over me as we continue to make Oregon our home. I wanted to leave, but I needed to stay.
What happens when our wants don’t line up with the need?
We don’t know much about Joseph. We know his father was Jacob, and he was in the line of descendants from Abraham and King David. We know he was a carpenter, which could have also been masonry work, meaning he worked with his hands, a man of the trades, so to speak. We know he was present throughout Jesus’ childhood, at least through the age of twelve when they went to look for Jesus in the temple.
I imagine Joseph had his own set of plans and dreams. When we are introduced to him, he was a young man engaged to Mary. I can only imagine his surprise when he hears of Mary’s impregnation. I wonder which was more shocking and bothersome to him, that she was pregnant or the story she seemed to be spinning about being impregnated by the Holy Spirit.
We do know Joseph was a man of integrity and honor. We know he must have cared for Mary on some level because he didn’t rashly throw her aside. He knew that whatever was going on with Mary, he didn’t want to disgrace her. Matthew 1:19 says they he made his plan to “divorce her secretly.” (For some context, engagement was considered the same level of commitment as marriage, which explains the strong language around divorce.)
He thought about all the things. He slowed down. He ruminated. He considered.
Then, he slept. And God sent a message with an angel.
“Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1:20b-21
The text that follows doesn't make it clear what Joseph wanted to do. We don’t know if he wanted to care for the Son of God. We don’t know if he wanted to survive through speculative social glares from those in his town, both while Mary was with child and for the years after. We don’t know what other wants he may have had.
It wasn’t about what Joseph wanted. It was about the need. Mary needed a husband to support her, share this secret with her, love her, and help her. Jesus needed a stable and kind earthly father to raise him well and teach him what it meant to be a Jewish man. And while one may argue that God doesn’t need anything from a human, I dare say God needed him to rise into this crucial role for the sake of His kingdom.
What does this have to do with the DMV?
The second part of our DMV story is that my son has been patiently waiting for his own license, as he just turned sixteen a few months ago. Due to covid and our move, receiving his license is now going to be delayed for another six months, to which no fault of this is his. He had his own plans to drive and go where he pleased. I had plans to release him for the occasional errand or to drive himself to work. But we were told no.
So now, we lean into the need. The need to be obedient and compliant to the laws of our new home. The need for me to prioritize his schedule when he would like to make plans. The need for him to come to peace with this. Above all, the need for us both to honor God even though this situation has worked out differently than we wanted.
My DMV visit doesn’t exactly line up with the magnitude of what Joseph faced between his wants and what was needed. Isn’t this what Scripture does, though, when we apply it? We understand a bit more about God’s character and how we can better live out this Christ-following life by applying it to our day-to-day.
On some small scale, Joseph’s outcome of his wants versus needs dilemma helps me to remember that most times, it’s not about what I want. It’s about what is needed and striving to meet that need, all to glorify God first.
If you found value in this post, check out my post last week on shepherds and peace.
