The Valiant Woman (Proverbs 31)
This was originally a sermon given at Sherwood Community Friends Church on May 14th, 2023.
View the video HERE.
INTRODUCTION
When you think of the ideal woman, what comes to mind?
Perhaps you get an image of a June Cleaver or Donna Reed. Here they are picture perfect, greeting their husbands with full makeup and a dress on. Their homes are perfect and we have high expectations on ourselves to make our homes just as beautiful as they did for company.
Or perhaps you think of women of powerful political influence. Regardless of your political stance (because that’s not what this sermon is about), it’s admirable and inspiring to see women rise up to political influence in a male-dominated field. These are just a few of these women.
Maybe you can’t help but think of women of influence and financial means, like Melinda Gates, Taylor Swift, and others pictured. These women set out with goals, determined to make a name for themselves and the brands they would ultimately create.
No matter the woman image that you pictured when you think of the ideal woman, there’s a good chance that you are right.
Our passage today is Proverbs 31:10-31, more famously known as the wife of noble character. If you have your Bibles with you, I encourage you to turn to this passage. Proverbs is right after Psalms, which is typically found right in the middle of your Bible.
WIFE OR WOMAN?
It’s easy when we come across a passage in scripture to want to glaze over the sections that we don’t believe actually pertain to us. Even though we know it’s all God’s story, there are just some parts that we just can’t get into. Here are some examples:
1 Chronicles 1-8 - This is the longest listing of genealogies in the Bible. We are inundated with names of people that we don’t know, nor many that we know how to pronounce, and stories we are disconnected from. We are not inspired, we can’t see ourselves in the history, and so therefore it’s easy to glaze over this section.
Exodus 25-27 - The building of the Tabernacle, the mobile house of worship that accompanied the Israelites while they wandered in the wilderness for 40 years. While I personally really love many of these details because I am a detail-oriented person, I can understand how many people are really not interested in the design specifics of this structure. Why do we need to know how long to make the ten curtains or what colors they need to be or what type of wood they used for the structure?
Lamentations - When is the last time you read Lamentations? It’s literally the name of the book - to lament. I mean, aren’t Christians supposed to be joyful? How does this book on lamenting provide me any use for today to become a more joyful Christian? Where are the instructions of how to live better and not woe-ing in our sorrows?
These are all good conversation-starters, but we’ll save these for another day. Today’s passage is one that has been misunderstood in its translation from Hebrew to English. I believe this misunderstanding takes away from the beauty in this capstone proverb for this important book of wisdom.
If you are a man, you might glaze over this passage, thinking This pertains to a wife, but that’s not me.
If you are single, you might even do the same, because you aren’t married.
And even if you are a married woman, it can be easy to also glaze over this passage with an eye roll because it simply feels too unattainable.
Worse yet, this passage has been used as a tool of oppression, both by men and women of a standard that seems just too much. I understand this is quite a claim I’m making here. So let’s look at the text:
Proverbs 31:10 says, “A wife of noble character who can find?” (NIV)
Stop there. This lays the groundwork for all of what we will read until the end of the book.
WOMAN
The word that we translate as “wife” here is the word isha. This word shows up in the Hebrew text 765 times.
The compliment word for “man” is ish. This word shows up 1,923 times in the Hebrew text.
Ish is translated as
Man or Men 1,124 times (58%)
Various Terms 268 times (14%)
Each or Anyone 256 times (13%)
Husband 68 times (4%)
In contrast, Isha is translated as
Wife or wives 381 times (50%)
Woman or Her 313 times (41%)
Various terms 38 times (5%)
Harem or Prostitute 14 times (2%)
Marry or Marriage 19 times (2%)
A passage you might be familiar with that uses these terms ish and isha is Genesis 2:24. “Therefore a man (ish) leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife (isha), and they become one flesh.” (NRSV) Notice that our translations use the word man for ish yet the word wife for the female version of that same word isha. So if we say this verse again, using the proper language, we would read this as “Therefore a ish (man) leaves his father and his mother and clings to his isha (woman), and they become one flesh.” (NRSV)
There is a disconnect between our understanding of the original text and the actual meaning of the scriptures. The disconnect is in the undertones and perceptions of those who have done the translation from when the text was written to us reading the text today, to no fault of our own.
VALIANT
So, now we’ve established this passage is not just naming wives, but women. Let’s return to the text.
“A isha of noble character who can find?”
Depending on the translation you may come across a variety of understandings here.
Common English Bible translates this line as “A competent wife, how does one find her?”
New Revised Standard Version says “A capable wife who can find?”
English Standard Version says “An excellent wife who can find?”
The word that is describing the woman is chayil. Say it with me. Chayil
Noble character. Competent. Capable. Excellent. These are all good terms. But they don’t capture the weight of chayil.
This word is used 240 times in the Old Testament. It is most often translated as army or armies, mighty warriors/valiant/valor, rich or wealthy, force or forces, and strength/strong/power.
This word means strength, bravery, and determination.
Men with these qualities were recruited by King Saul to fight against the Philistines in 1 Samuel 14:52. “There was hard fighting against the Philistines all the days of Saul; and when Saul saw any strong or valiant warrior, he took him into his service.” (NRSV)
David cries out in Psalm 60:12, “With God we shall do valiantly; it is he who will tread down our foes.” It’s God who defeats the foes, but we stand alongside him valiantly! (NRSV)
The Psalmist says this about those who put their strength in God, “They go from strength to strength; the God of gods will be seen in Zion.” (Ps 84:7, NRSV)
Strength to Strength. Chayil to Chayil.
So what we have now is not a capable, excellent, noble, or competent wife. They don’t quite capture the fullness of what is described about this woman. This poem that capstones the end of Proverbs is about the Valiant Woman - or Woman of Valor. Eshet chayil.
Say it with me - Eshet chayil - Turn to a woman in this room and declare over her Eshet chayil. This perspective shift helps us to now understand the text with depth and fullness.
Now let’s address the elephant in the room. This passage has been turned into a burden, haunting woman for centuries. But is this meant to be a task list?
TASK LIST OR POETIC AFFIRMATION?
There are different types of genres found throughout the Bible, including:
Narratives - like the Gospels
Poetry - like the Psalms
Prophecy - like Isaiah
Historical - like 1 & 2 Kings
Letters - like Romans
Apocalyptic - like Revelation
So when we consider Proverbs 31, what type of genre is this? {Poetry} And when we read poetry there is more heart and emotion behind the words than simple instruction.
After the 1968 assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., Maya Angelou was inspired to write I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings as a way of dealing with the death of her friend and to draw attention to her own personal struggles with racism.
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
This poem is not actually about birds or cages. It’s about crying out against the oppression of racism. Poems bring us into an experiential kind of emotion. The words leap off the page, seeping into one’s soul and causes deep reflection. It can bring life and joy. It can cause us to feel the sting of injustice or grief. Poems can instigate or perpetuate movements for change. Poems cause us to reflect about the state of our life, consider our future, rectify our past. It allows us to engage with the world around us in new ways. We see the world around us with brighter clarity.
Here’s another poem:
“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes behind your veil are doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats descending from the hills of Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn, coming up from the washing. Each has its twin; not one of them is alone. Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with courses of stone; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors.”
While I was reading this, did this image come into your mind?
Or was it closer to this image?
It’s because we understand that this is poetic language. As is this poem, Proverbs 31:10-31, is to be sung over the woman of valor. Rather than looking at this as the exhaustive (and exhausting) task list of what a woman is supposed to be, let’s consider instead the themes. As I read through this text, I’ll read with the appropriate translation of eschat hayil - woman of valor.
“A woman of valor who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant, she brings her food from far away. She rises while it is still night and provides food for her household and tasks for her servant girls. She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength, and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hand to the poor, and reaches out her hands to the needy. She is not afraid for her household when it snows, for all her household are clothed in crimson. She makes herself coverings; her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her husband is known in the city gates, taking his seat among the elders of the land. She makes linen garments and sells them; she supplies the merchant with sashes”
Phew. Anyone else wore out? Are you keeping track of the task list here?
She purchases raw materials to make her own linens
Then she makes her own linens
Not only is she a seamstress, but she markets herself and her product on an international level
She brings her food from far away, and this is before Instacart
She wakes while it’s still dark to make sure she and everyone else are taken care of
She’s not only a business woman, but she deals in real estate, purchasing land with her earnings & plants a vineyard on it
She’s physically strong, so of course she works out
Aside from waking up early, she stays up late into the night while she makes those linens to sell
Everyone in her household not only has all of their needs met but they are done to a high level
Aside from taking care of herself and her household, her husband is respected at the city gate and trusts her implicitly
Above all, you can’t resent this perfect woman because she is kind and generous, giving to the poor with an open hand
Reading it through the lens of a task list is exhausting and defeating. But this isn’t a task list. This is a poem of declaration, acknowledging the acts of the valiant woman, the ones who get up and fight each day to do the best they can with what they have.
Eshet chayil - Woman of Valor
Rachel Held Evans wrote a book called A Year of Biblical Womanhood, and in a talk she gave at Azuza Pacific on the subject, she referred to her friend Ahava, a Jewish woman from Israel, who she connected with her in this year experiment. She provided insights about what Old Testament biblical womanhood was intended to look like.
When Rachel asked Ahava if Jewish women viewed this poem as Christian women did, that is as a job description, Ahava clearly pointed out is not at all the way they understand this poem in the Jewish culture. And it is not the women who hold tightly to this passage - it is the men who memorize this passage to sing over the women in their lives-their wives, mothers, daughters, and so on. This is an unconditional song to praise them, not tied to a task list. As Evans did some more digging through consulting Old Testament scholars, she came to discover this is in fact a more accurate understanding of this passage. She describes it as an equivalent to “You go girl!”
Eshet chayil. You go girl!
Linda - you made amazing tacos for our movie night - Eshet chayil
Deanna - You make hundreds of scrubbies to give away every year to Willowbrook - Eshet chayil!
Mary - You make amazing bread that Bob and I are still talking about! Eshet chayil!
Wendy - you are recovering from eye surgery. Eshet chayil!
Shannon - you are almost through another school year. Eshet chayil!
Tami - is down with our kids today to bless them and teach them. Eshet chayil!
What stands out most to me about the woman of valor is in the next few verses.
“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her happy; her husband too, and he praises her: ‘Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.’ Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
She is a woman of strong character. She is a woman of confidence, the type who stands up straight with her shoulders back. She doesn’t cower away in timidity but instead rises up to the path before her. This is what makes this woman a woman of valor. This woman fears the Lord. This is where her character comes from.
LOVE & REDEMPTION
But Lisa, you skipped over the fact that she has a husband! Doesn’t that mean that this really is for wives?
It is very likely that the woman used as a reference was married. This was the culture. Verses 11 and 23 use the word here Ba’al for husband. There are a number of different words used throughout the Old Testament Hebrew for husband and I have no doubt this word was intentional.
If the word Ba’al sounds familiar to you, that’s because of the 150 times this word is used in the Old Testament. And about half are used in reference to the false gods that the Israelites chose to worship. The most familiar is when Elijah goes up against hundreds of prophets of Ba’al and calls down fire from heaven to burn up the sacrifice. Some other words is translated into are “owner,” “master,” or “lord.” Only 10 of these 150 times this word is used for husband, twice in our passage today.
When I was wrestling through this passage, I reached out to my Hermeneutics professor at Barclay College, Professor Mann. When asking him about why this particular word for husband might be here, he challenged my thinking that the very specific use of this word by the author might actually have been a “critique of the patriarchal aspects of marriage in the Ancient Near East.” He pointed out that this woman’s Ba’al praised her and entrusted her with everything, indicating that she might have even done everything better than him.
I also know it’s important that when reading any part of the Bible, we must remember there is a larger message or meaning being communicated. Meaning that there is always a larger and more communal story or message being told. I believe this is the case in this passage.
Let’s visit Hosea, one of the minor prophets.
“Therefore, I will now allure her, and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her. From there I will give her her vineyards, and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope. There she shall respond as in the days of her youth, as at the time when she came out of the land of Egypt.”
Hosea was a prophet and he married a prostitute as directed by God to communicate a message to Israel. This woman continues to leave him for her life of prostitution over and over again. This is an image of God and Israel, but one I think that we can all picture ourselves in. Israel was the prodigal son, the one that ran away with the inheritance, lost everything and came begging back to his father.
But God, just like with the prodigal son, welcomes back his child into the place of honor.
And God, just like Hosea with Gomer, pursues relentlessly after the one who continues to turn their back on him. Not only is God not going anywhere, but he’s pursuing you.
Today.
Right now.
You look up and all you see is wilderness all around you. Can you hear him? Can you hear how he speaks tenderly to you? He’s the one who has called you here to speak tenderly to you.
And he doesn’t just pursue you and welcome you back. Remember that vineyard that our valiant woman went to plant? God restores that to Israel here in Hosea. And not just one vineyard. He gives her many vineyards. He makes the Valley of Achor, which means trouble, so the Valley of Trouble into a door of hope.
And when he woos her and restores to her and replaces her troubles with hope, she will respond eagerly, as she did when she was young. This is the pivotal moment.
“On that day, says the LORD, you will call me, ‘My husband,’ [see ish - true translation “my man”] and no longer will you call me, ‘My Baal.’ For I will remove the names of the Baals from her mouth, and they shall be mentioned by name no more.’”
It’s on this day, the day of her favorable response to God, not on the wooing or the restoring or the replacing with hope, that we are fully surrendered to God. It’s the day we decide to respond to the hope that is before us. It’s on that day that we will no longer see God as a taskmaster or a slave-driver or even a distant figurehead that we are just placating so we don’t go to hell. It’s the day we no longer view God as Ba’al and we view God instead as ours.
God is mine.
The valiant woman serves her husband, her children, her household, the poor, and her community not for their sake, nor for the sake of herself or her name. No. She fights like a warrior because she is a woman who fears the Lord and she fights the battle that God has put before her so that he can be glorified. And when she keeps this perspective, this is when she’s no longer a slave to the idols in her life - status, kids, work, relationships, self-indulgence, how we look, financial security. Am I getting too real here?
God is lifting you up but you have to choose to let go of all of those Ba’als - those idols that you’ve been working so hard at. You’ve got to let him remove even the names of those Baals that consume your life from your mouth.
PLAY ON WOMAN WISDOM
One final thought. Does Proverbs 31 only apply to women? Or are there lessons here for men too?
When there is a verse that is addressed to men, women do we seek to apply those lessons to our lives? {Get Response}
“Listen, my son, accept what I say, and the years of your life will be many.” Proverbs 4:10, NIV
“My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart.” Proverbs 3:1, NIV
On this topic, John Hartley says this, “The goal of this poem is not to encourage women to become workaholics. Rather, it is to honor the variety of skills women have. It also closes this book by honoring Woman Wisdom as the giver of these skills to those who heed her call” (Hartley, 2016, p. 330).
In Proverbs 1:20(21), we are introduced to Woman Wisdom. “Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech.” (NIV) As a poetic capstone to the end of this book of poetic wisdom, it is worth considering that any of us, male or female, could be the embodiment of a man of valor (ish chayil) or a woman of valor (eshet chayil) if we fear the Lord and heed the advice of Lady Wisdom.
FINAL THOUGHT
We started today at Proverbs 31:10. “A woman of valor who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”
I don’t think this is intended to be an elusive woman, one we work hard to find and ultimately is a figment of one’s imagination. I think the question is more accurately posed as: A woman of valor, don’t you see her all around you? She is far more precious than jewels. And once you find her, we finish our poem with verse 31.
“Give her a share in the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the city gates.”
As we go out today, may we look at our mothers, our sisters, our daughters, and any other women in our lives and give her the share of credit she is due and praise her by declaring eshet chayil woman of valor!
