It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” It is self-examination that keeps me in tune to the voice of the Holy Spirit, listening attentively for His still small voice to give me direction. I recognize that to achieve the change I so deeply long for, I must wrestle through my surface-level comfort to delve deeper.

Suffocation engulfed my lungs. Breath escaped me. There was no option but to fall apart.

In December of 2012, I melted down. Identity crisis is something I had heard about in movies and TV shows, but me? I never thought it would happen to me. I realized I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, or if I could even survive. How did I arrive at the very pit of my life?

The idea of reading the Bible in its entirety has been intimidating for me. I never considered myself a reader until the last couple of years, and, let’s be honest, the Bible is a thick book. I didn’t think I could understand it. My intimidation was more directly linked to the Old Testament. I thought I would need to know keywords in Hebrew {the language of the Old Testament} and a concordance of explanations. If I were frank with myself, I would also admit with my head hung. I didn’t think the Old Testament was as important or relevant in my life. I was wrong.

We have all been the victim of this offense. We have all been guilty as the offending party too. We are getting ourselves ready for Monday morning work, a gathering of extended family, or a holiday party. We know it’s on its way, and we are powerless to stop its approach.

A handful of years ago, I found myself in an enormous time of growth professionally. I had left my “9-5” (I was in the restaurant industry, so it was never really 9-5, but you get the idea).

Walking up and down the grocery aisles. Squeezing melons. Reading ingredients. Comparing brands. I found enjoyed resentment in these tasks. Escaping the day-to-day by chopping and cooking.