Seek Me: Love | Matthew 1:18-25

This message was preached at Sherwood Community Friends Church on Sunday, December 4, 2022. You can watch the video in full by clicking below.

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As any responsible adult does upon relocating, when we moved from Illinois to Oregon, I visited my local DMV. As you can imagine, it was a less than pleasant experience, as DMV visits tend to go.

This was in 2020 and due to covid, they were operating on an appointment-only schedule. When I booked my appointment in October, the wait time put me out at mid-December - two months out. 

When I arrived for my scheduled appointment, it turned out that they were running behind. Really behind.

And only so many people were allowed in the building, and as a result, the line was long out the door. 

In December.

And it was raining. 

And I didn’t own a raincoat.

I debated about leaving and coming back another time. I thought about the repercussions - the minimal appointments available, the next long line I might have to stand in, and yet another few weeks or months until I can get my license. And one more thing still hanging out over me as we continued to make Oregon our home. 

I wanted to leave, but I needed to stay.

So, what happens when our wants don’t line up with the need? 

If you have your Bible, turn with to Matthew 1. Last week, Bob talked about Jesus’ earthly father, Joseph, and today we are going to look a little closer at this man.

Even though we don’t know much about Joseph, we do have a few hints about him. 

We know from Luke 2:4 that he lived in Nazareth in Galilee, but he was from Judea, specifically the town of Bethlehem, the same town of David.

We know from Matthew 1:1-17 that his father was Jacob, and he was in the lineage of founders of our faith, like Abraham, Judah, King David, Solomon, and Josiah.

We know from Matthew 13:55 that he was a carpenter, which could have also been masonry work, meaning he worked with his hands. A man of the trades, so to speak. Jesus didn’t grow up as a PK – pharisee’s kid – or from an entitled wealthy family, like royals or nobles or top businessmen. Joseph was a blue-collar worker, and Jesus was raised as such.

We know he was present throughout Jesus’ childhood, at least through the age of twelve when they went to look for Jesus in the temple found in Luke 2:41-50.

And when we are introduced to Joseph in Matthew 1:18, he was a young man engaged to Mary. I think Joseph had his own set of plans and dreams. He thought about what his own life before him would look like. 

How many children would God bless him with? What it would be like to be married to Mary for 5 years, 10 years, and on? How would his own work flourish and grow over the years as he provided for his family? The joy he must have held in his heart as he dreamt of passing along this family business to his own sons one day.

Let’s pick up the text in verse 18.

“The birth of Jesus Christ came about this way: After his mother Mary had been engaged to Joseph, it was discovered before they came together that she was pregnant from the Holy Spirit.” Verse 18 CSB

I can only imagine his reaction when he hears of Mary’s impregnation. All his own hopes and dreams that seemed so good and right… they were dashed. Crushed. I wonder which was more shocking and bothersome to him: that she was pregnant by someone other than him or the crazy story she seemed to be spinning about being impregnated by the Holy Spirit. Either way – Joseph had a dilemma.

In our women’s group, we’ve been learning about the world dictated at the time of Jesus according to Ben Sira’s ideology and theology of women. It was this influence outside of the Scriptures that had been growing for 200-plus years that put women into a place of shame automatically based on their gender. In fact, if a woman even burned the bread, her husband was allowed to divorce her. 

Anyone ever burn a dish before?

How much more of a reason for Joseph to separate himself from Mary now, before the damage is too great and more shame is brought onto him. 

Verse 19a

“So her husband Joseph, being a righteous man”

Pause there.

Something else we’ve been learning about on Mondays is about righteousness.

We are going to learn a little Greek and Hebrew today. So if you have your bulletin, you are going to want to pull it out.

In Matthew 1:19, the Greek word used here to describe Joseph is – dikaios (THEE-key-ose) 

Say it with me dikaios (THEE-key-ose)

This means either righteous or just. It is translated differently throughout the New Testament, sometimes as righteous and sometimes as just or justly. Here we see it’s translated as “righteous.”

This is an important descriptor by the author. This doesn’t mean that Joseph was more holy or knew more theology or was pious. The biblical definition of righteous is “to treat someone rightly.” 

Matthew was a Jewish author and the book of Matthew was written to a Jewish audience. They would have been familiar with righteousness, that is, living rightly with others, as they were taught from the Scriptures. They also would have known that when someone is described as righteous, justice or decision-making – taking action - comes with it.

Amos 5:23-24 “Take away from me the noise of your songs! I will not listen to the music of your harps. But let justice flow like water, and righteousness, like an unfailing stream.”

Psalm 72:1-2 “God, give your justice to the king and your righteousness to the king’s son. He will judge your people with righteousness and your afflicted ones with justice.”

Deuteronomy 16:18 “Appoint judges and officials for your tribes in all your towns the Lord your God is giving you. They are to judge the people with righteous judgment.”

We do not find righteousness without justice or justice without righteousness. The two go hand in hand. 

We learned Greek. Now we learn Hebrew. You all online too!

This word is the Hebrew word Tzedakah.

Say Tzedakah.

Tzedakah means Righteousness.

Say Righteousness.

Say Tzedakah equals Righteousness.

Alright. Next Hebrew word.

This word is the Hebrew word Mishpat.

Say Mishpat

Mishpat means Justice.

Say Justice

Say Mishpat equals Justice

Now say Tzedakah equals Mishpat

This is the very heartbeat of God. Mishpat & Tzedakah. Justice and Righteousness. 

The whole of Jesus’ life was to bring to resurrect mishpat and tzedakah, for the sake of restoring honor to the shamed, the rejected, those on the fringe and cast aside.

Joseph was selected as much as Mary was to be the father of Jesus because he was a man who demonstrated mishpat and tzedakah. Justice and Righteousness. The very heartbeat of God.

Jesus was born into a home that lived out the righteousness and justice the Old Testament taught.

Now, this is all well and good that Joseph was a man of righteousness and justice. But his dilemma was still in front of him.

Let’s go back to the text.

“and not wanting to disgrace her publicly, decided to divorce her secretly.” Verse 19b CSB

Joseph, in his limited human wisdom and insight, still loved Mary and cared about her well-being. How do I know this? 

He sought to preserve her honor rather than emphasize her shame. This is why it says that he would divorce her quietly and not disgrace her. This is the way justice and righteousness play out, that the ones with high honor have a responsibility to reach down to the ones in shame and to bring them up to a place of honor, even if that place of shame seems to be at their own doing.

One could argue that this restoration of honor is the very definition of love. The very love of the Father that is described in John 3:16 that Wendy read earlier - “For God so LOVED – AGAPAO – so CHERISHED – so DELIGHTED IN – had SO MUCH AFFECTION FOR - the whole wide world… that he gave up his son – that he sent his son from the highest honor and place at the Father’s right hand – down among the mess that is our dark world – in an effort to bring eternal life – freedom from the oppression from others, forgiveness for our sin of distrusting God, fullness and restoration into our relationships - to anyone who accepts this sweet, precious, thoughtful, caring, loving gift.”

Joseph was doing what he could to maintain Mary’s honor, despite how he must have felt. 

Do we do that? 

Do we seek out the well-being of those who hurt us? Do we find a way to honor people we see as living differently from us, ways that we think are wrong? Do we lift the lowly? 

Or do we seek to find revenge for the hurt they cause us with their offenses? Do we point out their flaws and their mistakes, hoping they’ll change and be eternally indebted to us for being so forthright with their shortcomings?

We know what the right answer is. We know the answer we want to say. But moments come when we are challenged to take an honest look into our minds and our hearts and ask if we are really living in the way of Christ. This is one of those moments.

Verse 20

“But after he had considered these things,” verse 20a

He considered.

When we seek the Father, we must be a people of mishpat and tzedakah. Of Justice and Righteousness. Of making decisions to treat others rightly. Our heart must hold this both and tension of justice and righteousness for the sake of showing that agapao love referenced in John 3:16.

And this is not a time for rash or quick decisions. It takes time.

Joseph thought about all these things. He slowed down. He ruminated. He pondered. He mulled. He noodled. He considered. Then, he slept. And God met him with direction.

How many of you know sleeping is spiritual? If you are online, drop that in the chat – Sleeping is spiritual!

Joseph’s pondering tells me was unsettled. He was discerning what to do and how to navigate the situation.

Then God shows up…

“an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, saying, ‘Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.’ Now all this took place to fulfill what was spoken by the Lord through the prophet: ‘See, the virgin will become pregnant and give birth to a son, and they will name him Immanuel,’ which is translated ‘God is with us.’” Verses 20b-23

Now, I try not to get too wrapped up in considering what moments in the Bible must have been like, because many of those moments only happened exactly one time. But this is one of them I wonder about.

Joseph was wrestling with this decision. He was battling internally with what to do. What was really the right thing to do? I bet you’ve been there too.

• Do I take this job or that job?

• Is this the right school for me?

• When should I make this move?

• How do I handle this disagreement with my friend?

• So-and-so was offensive - what should I do?

• Do I….When do I…. How do I… What should I?

And Joseph receives clear direction. We could probably line up at the microphone and share the times when we were struggling for clarity, and we had such a clear confirmation from God about the path to follow. And I venture to say that the confirmation came because we were seeking God for direction with our whole being.

When we position ourselves to seek God… when we seek Him with our whole life… He will reveal himself. He will reveal the path to take. He promises that!

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; in all your ways know him, and he will make your paths straight.”

Psalm 119:105-106 “Your word is a lamp for my feet and a light on my path. I have solemnly sworn to keep your righteous judgments.”

There’s tzedakah and mishpat again.

James 1:4-5 “And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God-who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly-and it will be given to him.”

Even though Joseph was missing the mark without an angelic visitation, his heart was poised to receive direction from God because he was a man of mishpat and tzedakah. 

How Joseph lived caused him to seek God for direction by way of life, so when God showed up, Joseph was ready to receive.

And what was Joseph receiving? Let’s look at those verses from the angel again – {Whiteboard}

• Joseph, son of David, - His identity, as the son of David, a reminder of who he belongs to.

• don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife - An invitation to not be afraid of the unknown earthly impact of marrying Mary, to abandon what other people think of him, and only to be concerned with obedience to God.

• because what has been conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, - To be included in the story of redemption and restoration of the whole human race.

• , and you are to name him Jesus - The honor of bestowing the name Jesus on earth to the son of God and to share his family name and lineage with the Prince of Peace.

• because he will save his people from their sins. – Participation and The opportunity to facilitate the ushering in of Immanuel – “God with us” – so that we may never again be separated from God the Father himself.

So what did Joseph do?

“When Joseph woke up, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married her but did not have sexual relations with her until she gave birth to a son. And he named him Jesus.” Versus 24-25

The text doesn't make it clear what Joseph wanted to do. 

We don’t know if Joseph wanted to be chosen. 

We don’t know if he wanted to care for the Son of God. 

We don’t know if he wanted to survive through speculative social glares from those in his town, both while Mary was with child and for the years after. 

We don’t know what other wants he may have had.

But it wasn’t about what Joseph wanted. It was about the need. 

Mary needed a husband to support her, share this secret with her, love her, and help her. Jesus needed a stable and kind earthly father, that is a step-father, to raise him well and teach him what it meant to be a Jewish man knowledgeable in Scripture. And while one may argue that God doesn’t need anything from a human, I dare say God needed him to rise into this crucial role for the sake of His kingdom.

Earlier I shared about my DMV experience. And there is a second part to the story.

Brayden was at this appointment with me. He had just turned 16 that September and was ready to get his license. He had an Illinois permit since February of that year, and he had been patiently waiting for his own license. 

But what we didn’t realize upon our move was the difference in regulations from state to state. Brayden having an Illinois permit, even with the classes and driving time, wasn’t enough to get his license in Oregon. He needed to have his Oregon permit for six months.

This was to no fault of this is his own. He did all the right things, and worked hard to study for his tests. He diligently met all his hours. But he was met with a NO from forces outside of his control. This was a hard day.

He had his own plans to drive and go where he pleased. I had plans to release him to go run errands or to drive himself to work. But we were told no. 

We leaned into the need instead of holding onto our wants. 

The need to be obedient and compliant to the laws of our new home. 

The need for us to prioritize his schedule when he needed to be somewhere. 

The need for him to come to peace with this. 

Above all, the need for us both to honor God even though this situation has worked out differently than we wanted.

My DMV visit doesn’t exactly line up with the magnitude of what Joseph faced between his wants and what was needed. Isn’t this what Scripture does, though, when we apply it? We understand a bit more about God’s character and how we can better live out this Christ-following life by applying it to our day-to-day. 

Joseph’s outcome of his wants versus needs dilemma helps me to remember that most times, it’s not about what I want. It’s about what is needed and striving to meet that need, all in the effort to glorify God first.

We hope the Prayers of Peace last week were helpful for you. This week we have Prayers of Love out on the bulletin table. As we enter into a time of worship, reflect on the questions above, 

How am I seeking righteousness and justice? 

What is the need God is asking me to meet today?

How can I seek God this week?

Father, we ask for you to speak both to us and through us. 

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