November 2nd, I, with a team of sixteen others from my church, headed on a plane to Haiti. If you have been following any news about Haiti, you may know of the hard circumstances, the oppression, and the extreme poverty. About sixty percent of Haitians live on just $2 per day, a statistic we can not comprehend in the United States. However, despite these harsh circumstances, I see hope, joy, and peace within those we interact with who know Jesus.

To serve. It doesn’t seem to make sense that the third piece I consistently put into my own healing is meeting the needs of others. (In case you missed it, you can still read about my first step and my second step.) This is most noticeable on days when I look in the figurative mirror and recognize my own broken beginnings. When I step outside of my own self to meet the needs of others, I rarely experience burn-out. Rather, I am often energized and experience my own strengthened walk of faith and healing.

Last week, I shared about the epiphany God had granted me in His graciousness. I shared with you about how I realized it wasn’t about the WHAT I was created for but WHO I was created to be. Acknowledgment is important. In fact, it is so important that Alcoholics Anonymous dubs acknowledgment as the first step in recovery. I try so hard in my own effort to overcome my struggles, my insecurities, my pitfalls, only to recognize I am powerless to do so. Sometimes I am so lost, I have not a clue how to put into words my lostness. David so clearly communicates what I have difficulty putting into words in Psalm 139.

It was Socrates who said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” It is self-examination that keeps me in tune to the voice of the Holy Spirit, listening attentively for His still small voice to give me direction. I recognize that to achieve the change I so deeply long for, I must wrestle through my surface-level comfort to delve deeper.

Suffocation engulfed my lungs. Breath escaped me. There was no option but to fall apart.

In December of 2012, I melted down. Identity crisis is something I had heard about in movies and TV shows, but me? I never thought it would happen to me. I realized I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, or if I could even survive. How did I arrive at the very pit of my life?

The idea of reading the Bible in its entirety has been intimidating for me. I never considered myself a reader until the last couple of years, and, let’s be honest, the Bible is a thick book. I didn’t think I could understand it. My intimidation was more directly linked to the Old Testament. I thought I would need to know keywords in Hebrew {the language of the Old Testament} and a concordance of explanations. If I were frank with myself, I would also admit with my head hung. I didn’t think the Old Testament was as important or relevant in my life. I was wrong.