Perhaps you’ve noticed me a little less in your inbox. Perhaps you have missed my voice. Most likely, there have been plenty of other voices to keep you pulled into their noise.

I’ve been quiet. I’ve been healing. I’ve been creating space and boundaries, evaluating what matters in life. I could sit here and list all the changes in our life, but I don’t want to be grabby of your heartstrings. I don’t need empathy to understand why I’ve been quiet.

“Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian slave named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my slave; perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian slave Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife.

Thousands last weekend stuffed themselves with too much food, decorated their homes in anticipation of Christmastime with gaudy garland and glitter, and they have elbowed and shoved their way to the best deals at all the department stores. Instead of spending time in laughter and enjoyment with those dearest to them, they were secretly scrolling for the updated Cyber Monday sales and making Christmas lists. I can blare all the Christmas Carols and watch all the seasonal movies, but it’s all just another cycle of insanity headed my way.

November 2nd, I, with a team of sixteen others from my church, headed on a plane to Haiti. If you have been following any news about Haiti, you may know of the hard circumstances, the oppression, and the extreme poverty. About sixty percent of Haitians live on just $2 per day, a statistic we can not comprehend in the United States. However, despite these harsh circumstances, I see hope, joy, and peace within those we interact with who know Jesus.

To serve. It doesn’t seem to make sense that the third piece I consistently put into my own healing is meeting the needs of others. (In case you missed it, you can still read about my first step and my second step.) This is most noticeable on days when I look in the figurative mirror and recognize my own broken beginnings. When I step outside of my own self to meet the needs of others, I rarely experience burn-out. Rather, I am often energized and experience my own strengthened walk of faith and healing.

Last week, I shared about the epiphany God had granted me in His graciousness. I shared with you about how I realized it wasn’t about the WHAT I was created for but WHO I was created to be. Acknowledgment is important. In fact, it is so important that Alcoholics Anonymous dubs acknowledgment as the first step in recovery. I try so hard in my own effort to overcome my struggles, my insecurities, my pitfalls, only to recognize I am powerless to do so. Sometimes I am so lost, I have not a clue how to put into words my lostness. David so clearly communicates what I have difficulty putting into words in Psalm 139.